


Good Vibrations

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when grad student Edward Masen was sent to a sex shop in the name of science.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So my good friend, who works in the Biology department at the University of Pittsburgh, tells me this story that had me rolling. And of course, I'm like... I gotta fic this.**

**So this will be maybe a few fun, quick chapters. I don't really expect a plot to develop, but you never know!**

* * *

"It's unethical."

Professor Emmett McCarty flashed a grin at his colleague, Professor Carlisle Cullen. "Fucking with the grad students is a rite of passage," he argued. "And that one is a prime candidate. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" The larger man laughed his full bellied laugh. "He has a crush on you."

"He's passionate about the work, that's all."

Emmett snorted. "Sure, that's it. He'd do anything you asked, and you know it, unethical or not." He grinned. "There's no harm in having a little fun with him."

The other man was already shaking his head. "If you're right about how he feels, that's even more reason not to mess with him. It sounds like a good way to get fired."

"Come on, Carlisle. You just have to be clever about it. You know me better than that, I'd hope." Emmett crossed his arms, the look in his eyes playful. "That's half the challenge - to mess with the grad students in an entirely ethical way." He eyed the blond professor. "You're not usually this uptight. Maybe the feeling is mutual."

Carlisle just gave him a scathing look, and Emmett laughed again. He shrugged. "Then I guess you're just not up to the challenge."

Carlisle narrowed his eyes. He huffed, indignant. "We'll see."

 

_**~0~** _

Edward Masen stayed in his car, his hands gripped around the steering wheel for minutes as he stared at the shop he'd been sent to.

Under normal circumstances, Edward would have no qualms walking into a sex shop. He was no prude, and no stranger to the toys. Then again, he'd never had to buy them in quantity before.

This is absurd, he thought to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. There was no reason to be ashamed of what he was doing. Even if he intended the items for personal use, there was nothing wrong with that. As it was, he was making this purchase in the name of science.

No, really.

Edward had to remind himself he was on an errand for Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Dr. Cullen was a genius in the field of Biology. As a first year graduate student, Edward had been beside himself with excitement to find he'd pulled a rotation with Dr. Cullen in the evolution and ecology program.

Carlisle's current project was a study in the behavior of spiders. In the lab, they had huge colonies with different breeds of spiders living in the same space. The experiment consisted of putting bug shaped papers on a web shared by four different species of spiders. A vibration was needed to alert the spiders there was prey about. The idea behind the experiment was to study the aggressive or docile behavior of the spiders - whichever proved more dominant.

Banging his head on the steering wheel, Edward thought back to his conversation with Carlisle, wishing again that he'd presented a better argument.

" _We need a way to notify the spiders that there's prey to be had." Carlisle looked at the web, tapping his lips in deep thought. "Usually a bug caught in a web is wiggling. Trying to get free. It sends a vibration through the web, alerting the spider dinner is on the line." He was silent for a moment before he snapped, turning to Edward with an 'ah hah' expression._

_Edward was on tenterhooks, enraptured by watching the genius at work._

" _Vibrators," Carlisle said._

_Edward blinked. "What?"_

" _Vibrators," Carlisle repeated, his expression absolutely serious. He went to his desk, retrieving his wallet. "You'll need a decent dozen vibrators. Make sure you're getting the kind with the different settings. Just to be thorough."_

" _Y-you... Are you serious?"_

_Carlisle looked perplexed. "It's just a tool, Edward. We need something that vibrates."_

_Edward kept waiting for the punchline._

" _There's an adult entertainment shop about two blocks away." Carlisle handed him a credit card._

" _You're kidding."_

" _You have another suggestion? We need something small. The mechanisms in those vibrators should be just the right size."_

" _Can't we just... flick it or something?"_

_Carlisle pursed his lips in amusement. You want to put your hand in the middle of a colony of spiders?"_

_Edward balked a little at that. "Or we can poke it. With a stick."_

_The professor continued to look at him patiently, as though he were being just a touch slow today. "If you're embarrassed, I can-"_

" _No!" Edward cleared his throat, knowing his protest had been a little too loud and fervent. The idea of disappointing this man was enough to overwrite his misgivings. He took the card. "I just thought you were trying to play a prank on me, that's all."_

" _Of course not," Carlisle said, blinking at him with innocent sincerity. "Sometimes it's just as simple as finding the easiest solution to a problem."_

Taking a deep breath, Edward steeled himself and got out of his car, bolstered by the knowledge there was nothing to be embarrassed about. There was some comfort in the fact that he knew the credit card he carried was the card for the lab. If Carlisle could handle explaining why there was a rather large purchase from a sex shop on his expense reports, Edward could certainly handle buying vibrators in the name of science.

Edward strode into the sex shop with purpose. He took some time, analyzing the wide and varied selection of vibrators. He was looking for small but powerful and, as Carlisle dictated, multiple settings.

Of course, there were only three of what he needed. Edward frowned, rubbing the back of his neck and scanning the shelves. With a sigh, he went back to the drawing board, choosing adding his second and third choices to his growing pile to get the 'decent dozen' Carlisle had ordered.

"Need a little help there?"

Startled, Edward dropped the stack he was trying to manage, sending boxes of brightly colored vibrators all over.

"Whoa, let me help you with that."

The man who'd spoken dropped to his knees beside Edward, helping him pick up the boxes. Edward looked up and was startled when he found himself staring at a pretty face.

A very pretty face. Mostly pretty - bordering on classically handsome. That was a deadly combination. He wore his dirty blond hair long so it fell - wavy and natural - down to chin level. The man looked up at him from under his lashes. His eyes were a light brown. Edward was vaguely aware of the slow smile that crawled up one side of the man's face. "Do you need me?"

Edward blinked, sitting back on his haunches. "What?"

The blond chuckled. "That's a lot of packages-" The inflection of this word made Edward instantly aware of the sudden tightness in his own package area. "-you have there. Can I help you get these up-" The man seemed to pause just a fraction of a heartbeat before he continued. "- to the front?"

Getting to his feet with a stack of six vibrators, Edward swallowed hard. As the other man stood, Edward let his eyes flick briefly down taking in a nicely shaped form and a name tag. Jasper.

An employee.

"That would be great," he finally managed. "These are a little hard to handle all by myself."

Jasper's lips crinkled as though he was trying not to grin, and Edward felt his cheeks heat. He was mildly exasperated with himself. What was he, thirteen and giggling at double entendres? He berated himself for his bashfulness as they both made their way to the front of the store with a stack of six vibrators each.

He was an adult. There was nothing to be ashamed-

"Having a party, huh?" Jasper asked easily as he slipped behind the counter, beginning to ring the purchases up.

"A party?" Edward felt as though he were being slow on the uptake today, and it was frustrating.

Jasper glanced at the stacks and raised an eyebrow. "Well, if these are all for you..." He trailed off a moment before he grinned, the expression lascivious. "Maybe I could interest you in our fine selection of lube. One of the big bottles, clearly."

Edward choked on his own breath. "That's not... I'm not..." he sputtered.

The blond man was laughing, and if Edward wasn't so out of his head with ridiculous embarrassment, he would have been wrapped up in what a nice sound it was. "Take a breath, man. I was just teasing." Another disarming grin. "There's nothing wrong with a little variety."

"No, but, this isn't... They're not for... that," Edward finished lamely.

Jasper just nodded, but Edward could tell by the look on his face he didn't believe it. Of course. The man must have heard a lot of excuses from people wandering around a sex shop.

"It's not," he insisted. "This is for a class."

"You need vibrators for a class?"

"No! It's not a class, really. It's a rotation."

"I'll bet."

Edward growled. "No. I work for Dr. Carlisle Cullen at the university."

Jasper held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Listen, man. It's no skin off my back. You do what you want to do wherever you want to do with whomever-"

"No! It's for a science experiment."

Jasper just looked at him, biting his lip.

Realizing how idiotic he sounded - and that he was only making things worse - Edward burst out in a stream of uncontrollable giggles. It was not a very masculine sound, but he couldn't help it at this point. Normally, Edward was smooth and charming. Today was just not one of those days.

"Never mind," he muttered, wiping tears out from under his eyes as he tried to get his giggle fit under control. "I'm doing an evo/eco rotation. We need to make a few fake bugs vibrate." Edward had no idea why he was still trying to explain. "It's really not for any, er..." He looked up, catching the blond's amused brown eyes with his own. "It's not for any... fun purpose."

Jasper chuckled and again held his hands up. "None of my business," he said, not unkindly.

Edward watched him with interest. There was something about this man that attracted him. Maybe it was the challenge. Jasper's gentle teasing had sent Edward into a bit of a frenzy because he was already uncomfortable about buying vibrators in bulk. Edward was naturally competitive, and he had the odd compulsion to correct Jasper's first impression.

"You have a good time, now," Jasper said when Edward had signed for the items. He winked.

Pausing, Edward let a smile creep slow and sexy across his face. He leaned in purposefully, tilting his head. "Believe me. If any of these were for fun, I wouldn't have purchased the small ones."

Now it was him who winked, and he strode from the shop with his head held high.

 

_**~0~** _

"I really didn't think you had the balls." Emmett was straight out guffawing as Carlisle related the story to him.

Carlisle shook his head ruefully. "I'd have said nothing could unnerve Edward Masen. You should have seen the shade of puce he turned." He sipped his coffee. "I don't know how I kept a straight face."

"Shit, I'd have killed to be there." Emmett shook his head. He clapped his friend on the back. "I take it back, sir. Those are some big brass balls you've got there. You sent a student into a sex shop. That's... epic status."

Carlisle's grin was smug.

They were interrupted when said student came through the door. If it were possible, his cheeks were even more red than they had been before. He dropped the discreetly colored boxes on the desk, handed Carlisle his card, and declared, "I'm taking a break." Then he walked out of the room without waiting for Carlisle's go ahead.

The second the door clicked shut again, Emmett grabbed at the bags. Sure enough, there were a grand total of twelve vibrators. He cracked up laughing.

And that was how Esme Cullen, Carlisle's wife, found her husband - in his lab, laughing and red-faced with his equally red-faced colleague, surrounded by vibrators.

* * *

**A/N: Many thanks to my friend Tony for the gem that started this percolating in my head. Thanks to songster for beta.**

**So! Thoughts? Ideas? Hopes?**

**Tell me what you think! *grabby hands***


	2. I'm Picking Up Good Vibrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello again friends. Let's uh... get right down to it. Hehehe

Distraction was the mark of a great thinker. Carlisle Cullen was distracted quite a lot. In watching him - which he did an embarrassing amount of time - Edward had noticed more than once that when he was deep in thought, Carlisle tended to run his fingers up and down whatever he happened to be holding. Up and down, rubbing his thumb over the tip of the pen. The microscope. The whatever happened to be within reach.

How many times had Edward seen the pen and thought about adding the extra "is". Pen-is. Penis. Specifically his penis. Or hell, the professor could hold his own penis and make that idle stroking motion. Edward wasn't picky. He couldn't figure which scenario was hotter.

It was one thing to watch Carlisle's deft fingers work a pen. Watching him with a vibrator was just sweet, slow torture.

They'd set about their office task - stripping down the vibrators so they were light enough to use with the paper bugs on the web. In the silence that ensued, Carlisle had completely spaced out. He was staring off into nothingness, stroking his fingers along the vibrator in his hands in a methodical manner.

Up. Down.

His thumb swept over the top. Lingered. His tongue darted out of his mouth, wetting his lips.

"I think I need to be... not here for a minute."

Carlisle looked up, surprised at the sound of Edward's voice. His fingers curled, forming a fist around the vibrator. Taking a better look at his student, he cocked his head. "Are you feeling okay, Edward?"

"I...um." Actually, Edward was having a difficult time forming a coherent sentence. "I'm fine. I'm just..." His eyes darted down to the vibrators on the table between them. "I guess it's been a long day."

His professor was studying him carefully. "Your face is flushed," he observed. "If you're not feeling well, why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off? Get some rest." Completely unaware of what he was doing, Carlisle brandished the vibrator in his direction. "I can finish up here."

Edward swayed where he stood, his imagination running away with him. "Yeah. That's..." He nodded emphatically. "Thank you."

When he was out in the sunshine again, he could breathe a little easier. Edward shook his head.

What was wrong with him today? Edward wasn't used to being the bumbling jackass.

Normally speaking, Edward was the epitome of smooth. He was the motherfucking Old Spice guy. He was the guy other guys - and gals - wished their boyfriends were. He was smart, sexy, and bordered on the right side of arrogant - attractive rather than unappealing.

Edward took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing deep.

What he needed was to get back on his game.

Decided, Edward headed toward home to change.

_**~0~** _

Jasper couldn't believe his luck.

Working at a sex shop so close to the campus, Jasper didn't usually have a problem picking up company for the evening. A good line was easy to come by, and what they were shopping for usually gave Jasper some insight. Under normal circumstances, Jasper didn't have any problem getting a date. The insight he gained at the shop almost always got him laid.

He'd thought he had a sure thing on the line when he saw the boy. He could tell the bookish type because there was an aura of concentration about him. Jasper could practically see him comparing and contrasting the benefits of each vibrator, weighing their pros and cons.

Jasper watched him for a good long while, amused when he saw the kid was amassing a collection. The vibrators were on the smaller side, too. The ones he was choosing were mostly used by women. They were small but powerful, and good when used for clit play.

In Jasper's experience, they were also the type used by experimenting college boys.

The kid looked the type too. Big, thick glasses. And vibrators, most of the time, marked a solitary lover.

Jasper had moved forward with a purpose, putting on his most charming grin.

The kid had been more than a little jumpy, discomforted to a painfully awkward point.

Course, once Jasper figured out that the kid intended to buy each and every one of the vibrators he had in his neat stacks, he understood the nerves.

Just how many vibrators did one guy need? He only had so many holes.

Jasper found himself imagining scenarios where the kid landed himself in the hospital after trying to stuff one too many of the little things where the sun didn't shine. He did realize vibrators and dildos ran in extra, extra, extra big, right?

The shop tried to cater to every proclivity.

Anyway. Jasper had tried to back off, but the kid made it too easy. It was natural for some people to spout bizarre stories about how they ended up in a sex shop - as if wanting a good toy or a hot video to go along with your pleasure was some sort of nefarious desire. As though a proclivity for anal beads was going to get someone put on the FBI's no fly list.

The kid's explanation of school and science were a little... well...

Jasper had to struggle not to laugh.

But then the parting shot.

The guy had turned it all around so quick, Jasper had been the one sputtering and bumbling over his words, though by then the other man had gone.

It left Jasper with a hankering, and so here he was, at one of the more popular clubs near campus. The place was crawling with pretty, but Jasper found he was distracted. The kid had gotten under his skin, and he couldn't help but look for him.

It took him a full fifteen minutes to figure out he wasn't fantasizing. The kid from the shop really was there at the club. Except... it wasn't quite him. It was that parting shot - all cocky swagger and cocksure attitude - personified. There he stood in all his glory - no glasses, no guilt painting his features. The grin that he leveled at his intended - a man Jasper knew named Benjamin - was enough to make his knees weak from across the room.

Jasper ran his thumb over his lips, an odd, possessive feeling coming over him. Benjamin was a good guy. He and Jasper had had a few moments of their own a year or so back, but even still, he felt a rush of anger toward the other man. The boy was his. He'd had prior claim. It was a caveman mentality and more than a little ridiculous, Jasper realized, but nonetheless true. He felt almost desperate to get to the bottom of this little mystery.

What game was he playing?

Probably more importantly, what was his name?

Jasper vaguely remembered him dropping an odd name - the same name that had been on the credit card he used. Carlisle. But he also remembered him saying he worked for a professor at the university. At the time, Jasper had thought it was part of the tall tale he was spinning. Maybe that was why he was so nervous. He was obviously a student, and if he was dating a professor who needed that many vibrators...

But here he was again, flirting with Benjamin.

Benjamin was a charmer, Jasper knew well. If he was going to catch the kid's attention, he was going to have to be on his A game. Benjamin would understand at the end of the day.

Decided, Jasper strode up to the stage where a band was playing. He got the attention of the lead singer - a friend of his named Garrett - and when the song was over, explained what he needed.

Garret's grin was wicked. "We can do that," he agreed. "And if Benjamin has a problem, you send him over to see me."

Jasper chuckled. "Thanks, Garrett. If this works, I'll buy you and the band a round."

"You'll buy us a round anyway." He shook his head. "Only for you, Jasper, would I disgrace this stage with The Beach Boys."

"Deal."

While Garrett turned back to the band, Jasper made his way across the club. He leaned up on the wall within eyesight of the kid, his eyes intent on him, watching the minute details of his face with fascination.

"Hey there, cats and kittens," Garrett's voice boomed. "We're going to do something a little different as a favor for a friend of mine, so if you don't like golden oldies, you give that scraggly blond over there a piece of your mind." He grinned as he gestured to Jasper with a tilt of his chin.

Laughing, Jasper raised his glass.

"So this one goes out to the guy experimenting for a class," Garrett continued, the look on his face saying he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. "Jasper wants you to know, if your, er, packages didn't work out, he's got a larger one you can try."

With that, the band went into a rather eclectic version of "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys.

Directly across from him, the arrogant grin faded from the kid's face, replaced by wide-eyed surprise. His head shot up, his cheeks flaming red.

Ah, there was the charmingly flummoxed boy from the shop.

He looked around, and when his eyes landed on Jasper, they near about popped out of his head.

Jasper pointed at him and crooked his finger, beckoning.

Benjamin, having figured out his companion's attention was elsewhere, craned his neck, looking around for the disturbance. He looked amused and resigned when he saw Jasper, and turned back to the boy, nodding as he spoke.

The kid took a long pull of his drink before he took a steadying breath and walked over to Jasper.

"Fancy meeting you here," Jasper said, tilting his head so he could speak in the kid's ear. He played his fingers along the other man's shoulder and drew down until he grabbed his hand, shaking it. "I'm Jasper."

The kid looked uncertain for a second before that cocksure grin he'd been brandishing at Benjamin returned in full force. "Edward."

Though he was obviously a lot more steady than he had been at the shop, Edward's cheeks were still pink. His eyes darted to the stage and back. "Good vibrations?"

Jasper winked at him. "Well, maybe not seeing as you're here when you had so many of them to play with." He leaned in so his lips again were at the other man's ear. "You know, if you're unsatisfied with your purchase, I can get you fitted with something else." He spoke the words slow and gravelly, leaning on fitted suggestively. He had to hold back his smirk when he heard Edward's breath catch.

He pulled back, watching as Edward's jade eyes darkened. But then the other man rallied, and leaned in. Jasper couldn't help his shiver as Edward pushed his scraggly blond hair over his ear. Before he could really process what was happening, Edward had tilted his head, capturing Jasper's lips in a heated kiss.

Jasper's thoughts went every which way. He was used to being the one in control - the aggressor, the alpha male. It was rare he was taken by surprise, but this kiss - and the way Edward's hand was on his thigh, his fingers inching upward - had him shocked and breathless. He groaned a little, kissing back when he felt Edward's tongue sweep his lip. He brought his hand up, splaying it on Edward's back.

And just as quickly as it had begun, Edward broke the kiss and slid along the wall a space away from Jasper. When Jasper took a step forward, he spread his palm over his chest, stopping him cold. He smirked as "Good Vibrations" came to a close. "I'm not as easy as a few good quips about vibrating plastic, slick."

He winked.

Then he set down his drink and made for the door.

Jasper blinked at the kid's back, and before he could really process what he was doing, he was off like a shot after him. He caught up to him right outside the club and grabbed him by the wrist. Edward only resisted minimally, and Jasper was easily able to drag him off to the side where his car was parked. He pushed, and Edward fell back on the hood, his hands gripping fistfulls of Jasper's shirt as he pulled him down with him.

At that point, Jasper wasn't at all sure which of them was winning this strange game of wills. He was quite out of his depth. Yeah, he was on top, shifting his hips against the kid who was moaning and writhing beneath him, but Edward's lips were just as aggressive as his. The younger man's hands were everywhere - on his back, reaching down to cup his ass.

When they were both breathless, Jasper rested his forehead against Edward's, breathing hard. "Let me take you home." His words were a feral growl, a command.

Beneath him, Edward gave a huff of laughter, apparently unimpressed by the authority in Jasper's voice. "I already told you I'm not that easy." He sat up, forcing Jasper back, and cupped his cheek, kissing him again. This was a softer kiss, almost tender. When he pulled back this time, Jasper could see a challenge in his eyes.

Wrapping an arm around the kid's waist, Jasper drew him to his feet, pressing their bodies together as they stood. "Baby, I got a whole shop full of fun we could be having."

The way Edward's breath shuddered, his body bucking against Jasper's, was supremely satisfying. "Your box of tricks isn't going to get me in your bed." His voice was so low and smooth, Jasper shivered with the vibration it sent down his spine. Edward leaned in, ghosting his lips across Jasper's. "It may keep me there, but if you want me, you're going to have to be more clever than that."

He bucked, sending Jasper stumbling a couple steps backward. He grinned, all bewilderingly handsome confidence. He knew what he was doing. "Maybe I'll see you around."

Then Edward was walking away, leaving Jasper to after him and appreciate just how good his ass looked in those jeans.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The gauntlet has been thrown.
> 
> Now what?
> 
> Thanks to jfka06 for freaking out in my docs. Hehehe. And thanks to barburella and jessypt for everything. MWAH.
> 
> Now, dahlings... what are we thinking?


	3. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello everyone! Happy Birthday to Kristen... you get some... slash?
> 
> Oh well. I bet you all will enjoy it.

The idea of chasing someone was a novelty to Jasper. There was a reason he went after the inhibited college boys. They were adorable - all shy smiles and timid touches.

****

Some would accuse Jasper of taking advantage of men at a vulnerable point in their lives, but he would never dream of it. The way he saw it, it was a privilege for those men to choose him. Often, the men he was with were just discovering the extent of their sexuality. They were painfully uncertain about themselves and what they wanted, needed.

****

There wasn’t a lot Jasper loved more than watching an unsure boy become a man confident in his ability to make love and be loved, so to speak. He knew how to make men feel good, boost their confidence.

****

What was wrong with that?

****

Edward was an anomaly. Jasper was smitten with the sweet boy with the flushed cheeks he’d first met in the shop and glimpsed again at the club when the band played “Good Vibrations.” But then there was the alpha male - all cocky grins and smooth moves. Jasper had enjoyed pinning that man to the hood of his car entirely too much.

****

As much as he tried to shrug it off - plenty of fish in the sea and all that - Jasper couldn’t seem to shake the man out of his thoughts. He went to work and watched when men came in on their own, their hands shoved in their pockets and shoulders slumped, and he would smile, remembering the serious look on Edward’s face as he studied the vibrators.

****

And that cocksure grin.

****

Jasper found himself zoning out, remembering that grin and Edward’s wink.

****

His kisses.

****

His hands on Jasper’s body.

****

And the challenge in his voice.

****

Jasper was naturally competitive. He told himself again and again he wasn’t looking for anything complicated. That was yet another reason he was attracted to the college boys. They weren’t looking to settle down. They weren’t looking for long term. They needed someone safe to explore, and Jasper offered that safety. It was a mutually beneficial situation.

****

For the millionth time, Jasper tried to shake off the insistent thoughts. What did it matter anyway? He didn’t even have Edward’s last name. He didn’t have a number.

****

“Dude. Someone might actually buy that inflatable sheep.”

****

Jasper started as Peter sidled up to him behind the counter, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially.

****

Peter was his partner, the co-owner of their little shop of varying sexual proclivities.

****

“What?” Jasper hissed, craning to look toward the corner of the shop. They stocked a number of blow-up dolls. It had surprised Jasper when the pricy dolls sold. Most of their clients had claimed they were prank gifts. Nobody ever asked, but they offered up that explanation anyway.

****

Because they were both thirty-two going on sixteen, Jasper and Peter had giggled like little schoolboys when they’d ordered an inflatable sheep - The Love Ewe - from their vendor. They’d put it with the dolls, just waiting for the day when someone would bite.

****

Sure enough, a couple had the box in their hands, and they were giggling and blushing together as they read the back.

****

“Just looky-loos,” he surmised. A lot of people noticed the item. They usually stared from a distance, but occasionally, someone was brave enough to pick the thing up. They never bought it, but they had a good laugh.

****

“Time will tell,” Peter said easily. “You finished with the reorder sheet?”

****

“Huh?” Jasper said brilliantly.

****

His friend looked at him coolly. “You were supposed to do the reorders. Did you?”

****

Jasper looked down at his hands where the reorder sheet was still blank. “Fuck. Sorry. I’ll do it now.”

****

Peter studied him. “It’s the kid with all the vibrators, isn’t it?”

****

“What? Fuck off.”

****

“Well who could blame you?” Peter laughed. “I’m dying to know what he did with all those vibrators, too.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Maybe they were party favors, eh?” He dug beneath the counter. “You said he was a student, right?”

****

“He said he was.”

****

“Right.” Peter came up with a rumpled looking newspaper. “It’s the University paper. They got a missed connections section, you know like on Craigslist?” He opened the paper to the right section and shoved it at him. “No harm in satisfying a little curiosity. I’ll write the ad for you. ‘You: Twelve vibrators. Me: The guy who wants to help you find a use for at least a few of them. Let’s get kinky.”

****

The idea turned Jasper on more than it should have, and his silence gave him away. “You’re kidding,” Peter said incredulously. “I was just yanking your chain, man. You’re really on about the kid?”

****

Grumbling, Jasper related the whole story to the other man about the club. Mostly he did it so Peter would laugh it off, tell him he was being an idiot and for no good reason. He’d seen Edward all of twice.

****

To his surprise - and dismay - Peter only looked thoughtful.

****

“Oh, come on,” Jasper protested before his friend even spoke. “You’re going to tell me to go for it, aren’t you?”

****

Peter shrugged. “I just think that a guy who could maybe, possibly give you a run for your money could be interesting.” He grinned broadly, waving the paper in front of him. “New ad then. To Edward the scientist. I have a few experiments for you to try. Hearts, Jasper with the vibrating cocks.”

****

Jasper shoved his friend a little harder than necessary and yanked the paper away. “I’m not going to take an ad out. Just let it go. I don’t know where to find him. He wanders across my path again, then that’s one thing.”

****

“Meant to be, huh?”

****

He should have been warned by the smirk playing on Peter’s lips when he said it, but Jasper walked into his trap nicely. “If it’s fate...” He shrugged.

****

Peter looked downright victorious as he flipped the newspaper over and tapped on the article on the other side of the ad space.

****

“Oh, fuck me,” Jasper muttered.

****

“Well, that’s not what I would start with as a pick up line, but you’d know better than I what would work.”

****

The article in the paper was about a talk scheduled for the next day. Something about flies. It sounded boring as hell, but it was being given by Professor Carlisle Cullen, Ph.D.

****

~0~

******  
  
**

Edward glanced at his cell phone, checking the time. It was getting late. They had to get over to the lecture hall. It left him with a conundrum. Was it best to knock on the professor’s door?

****

He took a few steps in that direction only to pause, his hand poised, when he heard the distinct sound of Esme Cullen.

****

Moaning.

****

He retreated quickly, turning to the lab equipment.

****

When the door to the office opened just a minute or so later, Edward was staring fixedly at the spiders in their enclosure. He didn’t look up as they walked through the lab, still chatting lowly.

****

“Good afternoon, Edward,” Esme greeted, resting her hand on his shoulder.

****

Edward jumped, startled at the touch, and she chuckled. “Relax, hon. Little bit of stage fright?”

****

“No! I...” He cleared his throat, knowing he was blushing. Again. What was he going to tell her? The idea of being on stage with Carlisle didn’t bother him at all. He was just painfully certain he knew exactly what they’d been doing not two minutes before.

****

But he wasn’t going to tell her that. “Yeah. Stage fright. That must be it.”

****

Carlisle smiled at him, his expression every compassionate. “Don’t worry. You know what to do. Besides, all eyes will be on me.”

****

Esme chuckled, wrapping her arms around her husband briefly and kissing his cheek. “Such an ego on this one,” she said to Edward, patting Carlisle’s chest fondly. “You two better hurry. You’re going to be late.”

****

She left and Edward began helping Carlisle gather everything.

****

“How are the spiders?” The professor asked as they left the lab, heading for the lecture hall.

****

“There are only eleven vibrating bugs.”

****

Edward had no idea what possessed him to say it, though he had observed that indeed, they were one vibrator short.

****

Carlisle’s step faltered, but he picked up easily enough. He glanced over at Edward, his expression the picture of perplexed innocence. “Well, that’s strange. But that’s why I had you buy so many. Some always go missing.”

****

“Yes, sir.”

****

They changed the subject then, and once they got to the lecture hall, the heat had faded from Edward’s cheeks. He slipped into his role easily, assisting the professor, watching him work.

****

Edward was proud even to be his lackey. It was an honor to watch him work.

****

After the lecture, he set about the task of gathering everything back up again.

****

“Excuse me,” a voice interrupted his task.

****

Edward was bent over, trying to disconnect the laptop. “Yes?” he said with a grunt, not turning around.

****

“I had a question.”

****

“You’ll have to ask the professor if you have any questions about the lecture.”

****

“Oh, I got what I needed from the lecture. I had a question for you. But don’t let me disturb you. I hope you don’t mind me saying - the view is pretty nice.”

****

That got Edward’s attention. He straightened up so quickly, he slammed his head on the underside of the table. “Fuck!”

****

“Oh, jeez.” The man - Jasper, Edward recognized now - was over to him in a heartbeat. “Damn, man. I’m sorry.”

****

“It’s no problem.” Edward rubbed his head, more irritated that he was once again looking the fool in front of this improbable stranger.

****

This stranger with an amazing kiss.

****

Edward folded his arms, aware of the change in the air as they assessed each other. “So you had a question, Jasper?”

****

Surprise replaced concern on Jasper’s face. “You remember me.”

****

“Well,” Edward began slowly, raising an eyebrow as he purposefully looked the other man over from his feet back up to his eyes. “You’re very memorable.”

****

Jasper grinned, a smile that spread slow and sweet and downright dangerous across his face. He cleared his throat. “So I got an experiment I want to run.”

****

“Oh you do?” Edward nodded slowly, as if he were taking Jasper very seriously. “And you think I’d be the one to help you.”

****

“I do,” Jasper answered solemnly. “See, I would like to observe the mating habits of the pretty science boy-icus in the wild.”

****

Edward huffed, his lips curling up for a brief moment before he tempered his reaction. “I see. And what makes you think you’re qualified to do that kind of research?”

****

The blond man looked momentarily incredulous, and Edward understood why. He was ridiculously attractive. Smooth. Older. Most people would think that a man like Jasper was way out of Edward’s league.

****

Maybe that was part of why Edward was being so difficult. He wasn’t naive enough that he didn’t notice Jasper and Carlisle shared several similarities. But this was a man he could have, and Edward wasn’t above admitting to himself that it was nice to be desired.

****

To have attraction returned.

****

Jasper tilted his head, his expression bemused now. “Come on, kid. I just sat through a lecture on fly anatomy. As fascinated as I am by fly schlong, most of that went right over my head.” He took a step closer. “You’re going to have to give me some credit.”

****

Edward hummed, as if considering, dropping his hands to his sides - a more open gesture. Jasper was receptive, stepping forward again. “Well if that went over your head, I’m not sure you would understand this...” He smirked as he remembered Jasper’s term. “... pretty science boy-icus.” Jasper was in his bubble space now, and Edward couldn’t stop staring at his lips. Still, he kept talking. “See, I’m very familiar with that species.”

****

The older man snorted. “I’ll bet.” He’d pressed two fingers beneath Edward’s chin, tilting his head slightly up.

****

“I’m not sure a sex shop employee would be able to keep up.” He was dizzy with the need to lean in. He could already feel the heat of Jasper’s breath on his skin.

****

But at his words, Jasper froze. Then he laughed, and leaned in, forcing Edward back a step so the table was pressed up against his ass. “Little boy,” he rumbled against Edward’s ear. “I own that fucking shop, and every. Single. Vibrator. In it.” He pulled back. “Among other things.”

****

Edward’s breath caught in his throat, desire making it difficult to remember what game he was playing.

****

Jasper pressed his advantage, tilting his head so his lips were so damn close, Edward almost whimpered. “Give me your number.” It was a command, and normally, Edward’s first instinct would be to do exactly the opposite of what he was told.

****

His breath stuttered. “Okay,” he agreed.

****

Jasper was smiling when he kissed him.

****

It was a slow kiss, but intense, and Edward had completely forgotten where he was by the time he heard Carlisle clear his throat.

****

Loudly.

****

Befuddled, Edward stepped away from Jasper, rubbing the back of his still-sore head guiltily, wondering if he could claim a concussion.

****

Carlisle looked more amused than annoyed. “We have somewhere to be,” he reminded gently, looking genuinely apologetic.

****

“Right.” He took a deep breath before he could lose his nerve and stepped back into Jasper’s personal space, digging his hand through the man’s front pocket.

****

“What-” Jasper started to protest but stopped when Edward pulled out his phone.

****

Edward winked at him. He’d felt the thing before when the blond man was pressed against him. He quickly programmed his number in and handed it back. “We can discuss the parameters of your experiment later,” he promised.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to jessypt, barburella, and songster. Much heart.
> 
> FYI... this story is getting out of hand. Heh.


	4. Doing The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the delay. Humor doesn't flow as easily as angst/drama for me, haha. This has been an experience thusly.  
> Huge thanks to Lottie for my awesome banner. You should check it out in my profile!

Jasper waited a day and a half before he called.

Edward let the call go to voicemail, but he texted back three hours later.

Rolling his eyes, Jasper called again.

"Did you maybe think I was in class, and I couldn't talk?" Edward asked when he answered the phone.

The corner of Jasper's lips turned up. He leaned back on his headboard, crossing his feet at the ankle. "Well aren't you a naughty boy, texting in class." He paused, letting his tone drop to a low rumble. "Is it that hot professor you were on stage with? What's his name? Cullen." He whistled. "Boy, I'll tell you. If I were you, I'd have more than one fantasy about doing poorly, you know... just to see him after class? See if I couldn't set up some one on one tutoring bent right over his desk."

He had the satisfaction of hearing Edward's thick swallow and the shaky breath he took. "Tell me something." The kid's voice was husky when he spoke.

"Yeah?"

"When you have these fantasies..."

"Yeah?" Jasper prompted again. He felt entirely too aware.

"Are you wearing a Catholic school girl skirt?"

Jasper sputtered and then laughed. "You're a cheeky little monkey." His tone was rueful. "You're not really in class, are you."

"No."

Just playing hard to get then, Jasper mused. He hummed, and held his tongue a beat. "So, you're the scientist. Tell me how this, er, experiment works."

Edward huffed. "What do you want from me?"

That was a damn good question.

Jasper had a million different answers on the tip of his tongue. He wanted this kid in his bed, naked and spread out, and glorious in front of him. He wanted to see which side of his personality would come out in the heat of the moment. Would he be a bossy bottom, ordering Jasper when and where he could take him? Or would his bashful side win out? Would his smiles be small and bashful, his cheeks pink as Jasper explored his body?

He wanted Edward's lips wrapped around his cock.

He wanted to kiss him again.

He wanted to touch him.

He wanted to figure out why he couldn't stop thinking about this ridiculous kid.

Jasper cleared his throat. "I don't know," he admitted, his tone light. "Can't say that I've ever really done the dating thing."

"Ever?" Edward paused. "Why now?" he asked, but Jasper heard his real question - why me?

"I don't know." His words were soft, almost vulnerable. He sat up, wrapping his free arm around himself, wondering what the hell was going on with him.

More silence. Jasper found himself in the very odd position of having nothing to say. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but his usual charm and charisma eluded him.

"Dinner then." Edward sounded decisive. "I'll let you choose the venue."

"How kind of you." Jasper's drawl was dry.

"We can meet there," Edward concluded, ignoring his sarcasm.

Jasper thought about this. "You really do want to take things slow, don't you?"

"If you're not interested-"

"I am," Jasper interrupted. He cleared his throat, kind of incredulous because he was on tenterhooks. "I'll think about it and get back with you tomorrow."

"Good." Edward sounded genuinely pleased, and that made Jasper smile.

"So," he said, drawing the word out.

"So," Edward returned, sounding suspicious.

"What are you wearing?"

There was that pleasant chuckle again. "Jeans and a lab coat."

"With no shirt? How scandalous."

"Well you know. It's like you said. Got to have something to entice the professor, right?" He sighed. "I've got to go. I have science to do. You know how it is."

Jasper snorted. "If you want to play with your vibrating friends, you could just say so. No shame here." He let his smile drip into his voice. "In fact, if you need a little help..."

This time, Edward's sigh was slightly exasperated. "As a matter of fact, I am playing with my vibrating friends. As part of a legitimate science experiment. School funded and publishable."

"Sure, okay," Jasper said easily, nodding his head though the other man couldn't see him.

"I'll see you soon."

Edward sounded surly, and for some reason that only amused Jasper more. "Have a good day, sunshine," he quipped, laughing as he ended the call.

**_~0~_ **

"He's insufferable," Edward growled.

"So you keep saying." His best friend, Bella Swan, sounded bored.

Edward looked up. Sure enough, she was flipping idly through a magazine, hardly paying attention to him at all. "Aren't you supposed to tell me to kick him to the curb if he's such an asshole?"

That caught Bella's attention. She looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Excuse me? If you're testing me, I was actually listening to every word you said, Edward. I hear no red flags." She shrugged. "He sounds like a lot of fun."

"He's a decade older than me."

Now she looked at him disparagingly. "Okay, fine. Go back to lusting over your professor who is  _two_  decades older, straight, and married."

Edward scowled.

"Seriously, what's your hang up?"

"I don't know," Edward said after a few moments silence. "Sometimes, he just makes me..." He shrugged uncomfortably.

Bella grinned at him. "Squirm?" she suggested.

Edward gave her a look, but before he could come up with a suitable reply, there was a knock at the door to the lab. A couple of the undergrads were lingering in the doorway, giggling like twelve-year-old school kids.

"Hey, Edward?"

"What's up, Seth?"

The kid crept forward with his friend and took his hands out from behind his back. "Really hot blond guy asked us to deliver these...er... flowers to you."

Both the boys cracked up as Edward turned bright, bright red.

Nicely arranged like little phallic flowers in a festive red vase was a bouquet of mini vibrators, penis lollipops, flavored condoms, and a couple of panties folded to look like lacy roses.

Bella joined the boys in laughing her ass off as Edward raced forward, yanking the "flowers" out of Seth's hands.

There was a note.

**I'm new to dating but word on the street is flowers are a must. You'll be the one with the rose on the table, right? Something like that? I might have mixed up my dates.**

There was the name of a restaurant - a steakhouse where the waiters broke into a line dance every hour or so - and a time to meet.

When she was done tittering, Bella grabbed one of the lollipops and blithely slide it between her lips, winking at him. "Oh, yeah. I say go for this one, Edward."

**_~0~_ **

Edward got there first, but Jasper was only a minute or so behind him. He strolled past the table where Edward sat, pretending to look around.

Rolling his eyes, Edward reached out, grabbing him by the arm.

"Well, you must be Edward Masen," Jasper said as he sat across from him. "I didn't recognize you because I thought you'd have a rose."

Holding Jasper's gaze, Edward leaned across the table. "I did bring your rose. Thank you. It's very, very pretty."

Jasper blinked. Edward saw the exact moment meaning hit him. His eyes darkened, his lips opened in an "o" of surprise.

Edward smiled and looked at his menu with feigned innocence. "I think I'll have a whiskey sour."

And damn if he hadn't ordered Jasper's favorite drink.

**_~0~_ **

Though Jasper would never admit it out loud, he'd spent a considerable amount of time stressing over this date. It was ridiculous. He had game in spades; changing the setting shouldn't have made any difference. But he had to admit he was out of his depth, playing a game he didn't know the rules of or the object to.

When it came down to it, dinner went surprisingly well. Edward was both interesting and interested. They talked about their siblings – both younger, both girls – and parents. They talked about the places they'd been and where they wanted to go. Edward was endlessly fascinated about why Jasper would choose to open a sex shop of all things.

"It's just good business sense," Jasper said with a shrug. "Adjacent to the university where you have kids away from their parents having all kinds of first experiences? Sex goes hand in hand with that kind of experimentation." He winked at Edward. "Had this kid in my shop once who needed a dozen vibrators. I still want to know what he did with him."

Edward's eyes flashed with annoyance, and he set his drink down – his third whiskey sour – a little harder than necessary. "I told you. I needed them for legitimate scientific purposes."

Jasper waved his hand dismissively. "I'm not arguing." He probably should have been backpedaling, but Edward's glower amused more than dismayed him.

The younger man stared at him for a long beat. "Come on," he said suddenly, pushing his chair back. He swayed when he stood, and Jasper was on his feet quickly to steady him.

"What are you doing?"

"You have to drive me to campus." He was rifling through his wallet.

Jasper pushed his hands away, pulling out a few bills that would easily cover their meal and a tip. "No dessert?"

"I left some of the penis lollipops at the lab." He downed the rest of his drink in one shot.

Smirking, Jasper took Edward's arm. When the other man gave him a look he only tightened his grip. "I wouldn't want you to fall."

That softened Edward's glare ever so slightly. "I'm not arguing," he said, echoing Jasper's words from a few minutes before.

Jasper drove them to the campus and let Edward thread their fingers together as he tugged him along.

When they got to the campus, Edward walked with a purpose even though his gait was ever so slightly unsteady. Jasper kept to his side, ready to help lest he stumble. He didn't though. They got to the lab, and Edward pulled out a set of keys, letting them in.

He was sexy when he was in science mode, Jasper reflected, watching him move to, sure enough, a colony of spiders. The vibrators had been disassembled, which Jasper found to be a pity.

For a few minutes, he watched Edward in his element.

"See. The vibration is what tells the spiders that… that…" Edward stumbled as Jasper stepped up behind him, resting his hands lightly on his waist.

"What does it tell the spiders?" Jasper prompted. His words were a rumble, his lips pressed against Edward's neck. He slipped his hands up and under Edward's shirt, brushing the pads of his fingers along the hard, smooth lines of his stomach. He felt Edward shudder – a pleasurable shiver, he thought as the other man leaned back.

"I, um…" Edward stumbled as Jasper nudged his head with the tip of his nose, seeking better access to his neck. "They…" He huffed, giving up and turning. He wrapped his arms around Jasper's neck, his hands going into his hair.

Jasper had been waiting all night for this – the opportunity to kiss him. He pressed Edward back, bracing his hands on the table behind him so he could put all his energy into the kiss. He swept his tongue over Edward's lip, tasting, and then began to lap slowly further into his mouth.

Edward whimpered against his lips. He shifted his hips. His hands brushed down Jasper's neck, down his back. He splayed his hands wide, pushing him closer.

Jasper caught himself just before he moved to take things too far. With a groan, he pushed off the table, away from Edward. The younger man blinked a few times, looking confused. He reached out, but Jasper stepped away from his questing hands.

"Can't do it, darl," Jasper said with a sigh. He saw hurt, rejection, skitter across Edward's features, and he was quick to continue. He stepped back into Edward's personal space, brushing his cheek with the back of his knuckles. "Over and over you've told me I have to work for it. I'm not going to let you make a choice you wouldn't have made if you were sober."

To his surprise, Edward's grin crept up at one corner. "You're a good man, Jasper Whitlock."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You doubted?"

Edward reached out, hooking his fingers through the belt loops of Jasper's pants and pulling him closer. "No." He kissed Jasper then, his hand along the side of his face. It was a softer kiss, but deep. He sighed when he broke it. "Drive me home?" His lips quirked. "I'll be just about sober by the time we get there, and then we'll see how I feel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella and jessypt for all their help!  
> Now... quick note. I wrote a short, short, short M/M piece that I've published on Amazon under a pseudonym. It's a kink piece that I'm using to explore my publishing options before I start to figure out what I want to do with the novel and novella I've written. If you're interested, you can find it on Amazon. It's called Just Call Me Daddy under the author name Kay Sahn.
> 
> Now... as for these boys and kink... next chapter. I promise. ;)


	5. Heady Situations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What? This story updated? Jfc. I told you I wasn't good at humor. Sigh. Drama flows oh so much better for me. Anyway. So sorry about the wait. Onward!

Jasper was sure he was being tricked. There had to be a catch somewhere. This crazy kid had him all twisted in knots.

"You're going to get us killed," Jasper warned when he felt Edward's hand on his knee. He spared a glance long enough to see that Edward was giving him an innocent look even while a more dangerous smirk played at his lips.

"I don't know what you're talking about." His hand crept higher up Jasper's thigh.

All sorts of scenarios danced in Jasper's thoughts. If Edward were any other guy, he might have pulled over, found a quiet street, and they could really have some fun. But Edward had already set himself apart, and so Jasper wasn't at all sure what he was supposed to be doing at this point.

"Walking me to my door would be the gentlemanly thing to do," Edward informed him when they pulled up in front of his building.

"Well, I'm nothing if not a gentleman." Jasper got out of the car and offered Edward his hand. The other man ignored it, instead wrapping an arm around Jasper's waist. When he got the door open, he didn't allow Jasper to get away. Instead, he dragged him into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Jasper groaned. "What are you up to, kid? You decide you want to pretend I'm your blond-haired professor for a night?"

Edward took his face in his hands, looking him right in the eye. "Dr. Cullen has never been here. I'm here with you, Jasper Whitlock."

In all his years and many sexual encounters, Jasper thought he knew all the ways he could be turned on. He owned a sex shop for fucks sake. And yet somehow, nothing had ever been quite as alluring as those words coming out of this silly little boy's mouth. His heart sped up, his head spun. Jasper had so much experience in all thing's seduction, but this, this was new.

Frightening.

And Jasper didn't like being scared.

With a growl, he surged forward, spreading both his hands on Edward's chest as he shoved him up against the door. He gave the other man no time to recover. Jasper swallowed his gasp of surprise, kissing him voraciously. That had proved effective in getting the kid to shut up before. And it was nice. Damn, he loved kissing Edward.

There was no problem here. He'd wanted Edward since the moment he saw him, flush faced and stuttering over a dozen vibrators. And the way Edward had his leg hitched up around his waist made it pretty clear Jasper could have him.

He broke their kiss. "You sober?" he asked between pants.

"I'm not drunk. Not even tipsy." He grinned, ducking his head to catch Jasper's kiss again. "You want me to recite my ABC's backward for you?"

Jasper drew his hand down from Edward's chest to cup him between his legs. Edward gasped. "This what you want?" Jasper rubbed with the heel of his palm.

Edward banged his head back on the door. "Fuuuck. Yes." He pressed his lips together, and Jasper saw a brief moment of hesitation before he closed his eyes. "I want you to fuck me."

His words went straight to Jasper's cock, and he almost let himself forget that second of hesitation. Almost.

Edward was conflicted. Jasper was suddenly a hundred and ten percent sure if he fucked Edward now, that would be the end of them.

That was scary too, though Jasper still didn't want to think about why. Then he was the one conflicted.

Was he really going to reject him? And if he did, wouldn't that have every chance of ending whatever this was, too?

Edward wanted to be more than just a quick lay. If he was giving in now, he was expecting Jasper would get his rocks off and get gone. What had prompted this mind change was anyone's guess.

It was a puzzle Jasper found he wanted the answer to. So that raised the question, if he didn't want to be tossed out on his ear and he also didn't want to reject Edward, what was left?

Jasper dropped to his knees. "I got a better idea."

Normally, Jasper was meticulous about safe sex. He'd definitely never had this conversation with Edward. But sometimes life was like that. He acted first and asked pertinent questions later. He had Edwards pants unbuttoned and around his ankles before the other man knew what was happening. He had Edward's cock in his mouth in the next second before either of them could think about it.

"Your mouth, your mouth. Christ. You're good at this." Edward's hands were in his hair, caressing his face.

Jasper hummed his sarcastic response, knowing the vibration would drive him wild. Sure enough, Edward's hips jerked, and he gave a cry. Smirking around his cock, Jasper added his hands and fingers to the equation. He released Edward briefly to wet his fingers and then traced around the base of his balls.

"Look, um... Oh, sweet baby Jesus. Jasper... You have to know. You have to know, I'm not usually. I mean, I have staying power, okay?" There was the babbling fool who'd so intrigued him. "I'm not usually... Fuck. I'm gonna come. Fuck."

Edward cried out with the strength of his orgasm.

And then, he fainted.

~0~

Edward had been in choir when he was in high school. One of the first things they taught in choir was not lock your knees. His director always said if he locked his knees, he would faint.

Precocious little fucker he was, Edward thought his choir director was full of shit. He locked his knees on purpose and ended up taking out a whole riser of his classmates when he took a nose dive.

This time, Edward hadn't locked his knees on purpose. He'd been taken by surprise, and then he just about forgot his name, let alone to bend his knees a bit. Of course, it wasn't enough that he'd merely fainted. He'd fainted and struck his head on the corner of an end table. The result was a nasty gash on his forehead and, judging from his nauseated state, a concussion.

Jasper was the one who tucked him back into his pants, all but carried him to the car, and got him to the hospital. So now Edward was loopy, bloody, and disoriented. If he wasn't such a mess, he'd have been dying of embarrassment.

"Edward?"

"Huh?" Edward turned his head toward Jasper and winced. Turning his head hurt. Thinking hurt. "Can you turn these lights off?"

Jasper snorted. "Sorry, chief. This is a hospital. They need the lights."

"Oh."

"I asked if you wanted me to call someone. You're so out of it."

"I hit my head."

"I know that."

Edward frowned. He was missing something in this conversation. Or Jasper was. It was hard to tell when his head was trying to pound right off his neck. "What?"

Jasper growled. "Man. Where is the doctor? You're a bloody mess."

"Head wounds bleed a lot." Edward paused. His thoughts felt so thick... out of reach. "I'm sorry about your car."

"What are you talking about?"

"My friend Bella... she had a head wound like this. Bled all over the place. In my car. It's still stained."

"Don't worry about that right now."

Edward took him at his word. He tried to raise his hand, the one that wasn't a towel to his head, only to find it weighed down. Confused, he looked to see what his hand might be caught on.

Jasper's fingers were entwined with his.

Edward stared for a good long while. He felt like he was going to cry, but that might have been the head injury. It was making him emotional. Still, it was sweet. Who wanted to spend their night in the emergency room? As he watched, Jasper stroked his knuckles in a comforting gesture.

"I'm sorry you didn't get yours," Edward blurted.

"Now what are you talking about?"

Some part of Edward was vaguely aware there were others in the emergency room. He should have been more discreet. But that part of him, his filter, was down for the count. "I can give a good blow job. I'm good with my mouth."

"What the hell. You really think I care about that right now?"

"I think this is above and beyond what anyone should have to go through to get a little head. You should have fucked me like I told you to."

When Jasper let go of his hand, Edward chanced a glance at him. He looked pissed. "What?" Edward prompted.

"Nothing."

"No. It's something. I may be out of it, but I can see that."

"Don't make me yell at a guy with a broken brain. It'll make me look like a prick."

Edward was confused, more even than was typical for a head injury. "Why do you want to yell at me?"

"Because-"

"Edward Masen?"

Edward looked up at the nurse calling his name and immediately regretted it. He hissed in pain. Jasper was back in a heartbeat. He had his arm around Edward helping him up and keeping him steady as he walked to the nurse. Because Edward forgot to let go of his hand, Jasper followed him.

It turned out to be a lucky thing as Edward was slow on the uptake. Jasper was able to answer the nurses questions. Edward was grateful until they got to the part about exactly why Edward had fainted.

"It must have been a really powerful orgasm," Jasper said, his tone smug.

Edward huffed. "Locked knees. I locked my knees. Jesus Christ you have a big head."

"How would you know?" Jasper quipped.

Edward opened his mouth to snap something smarmy then quickly realized his brain wasn't up to it. He groaned instead. "I'm going to be sick."

"Well there's no need to be insulting."

"No. I mean I'm going to throw up."

The nurse took over then, getting him a bin to empty his stomach into. Someone was rubbing his back for which he was eternally grateful. When the nurse stepped away to take care of the mess and get Edward water, the back rubbing remained. It had to be Jasper.

Exhausted and in pain, Edward laid back on the exam table. "Ow," he complained.

The doctor came in then, asking more questions. Edward had been through the drill once before with Bella, so at least he understood why the sadistic doctor kept poking at him and making him speak.

When the doctor cleaned and stitched his head, Jasper held his hand. Normally, Edward was fairly stoic with these types of things, but he was woozy and disoriented. He couldn't seem to hold back his little gasps. Every time he flinched, Jasper would squeeze his hand.

It was nice. As nice as stitches, confusion, and nausea could be, anyway.

"Okay, Jasper. I'm going to need your help on this one," the doctor said. "Your boyfriend needs physical and cognitive rest until all his symptoms are gone."

"Cognitive rest? You mean he's not supposed to think for a few days?" Jasper sounded amused.

"As little as possible. No concentration. So this means no school work, video games, being on his smart phone."

"He can't be on his cell?"

"Talking is fine. Texting, computing... that kind of thing is what you want to avoid."

"Oh, man. That's kind of intense."

"Hence why it works best with an enforcer."

"I have science to do, dammit," Edward grumbled. His arm was slung over his eyes as he lounged on the exam table. "The professor needs me."

"Settle down, you. You'll survive without ogling the professor for a few days." Jasper patted his arm.

"You can take him home. Just be on the lookout. If his symptoms get worse, bring him back."

"I don't have to keep him awake?"

"No. As with most things, sleep is the best medicine. It will allow him to rest his mind and his body."

"Thanks a lot, doc. I'll take him home and put him right to bed."

Edward opened one eye to stare blearily at the other man. "Hey, Jasper?"

"What's up?" Jasper asked. He took Edward's hand, pulling him upright.

"Why does the doctor think you're my boyfriend?"

Jasper just laughed. "You know, you're pretty cute when you look all befuddled."

~0~

By the time Jasper stopped the car, Edward was hardly conscious. He wanted to sleep. He groaned and fussed when something pulled at him, trying to get him mobile.

"Come on, Edward. You just need to help me get you inside. Then you can sleep."

There were warm arms around him, supporting most of his weight as he stumbled forward. He opened his eyes reluctantly. It took him a full minute to figure out why something felt off. "This is not my house."

"Oh, good. Your brain does work." Jasper was leading him down a hallway.

"Why isn't this my house?"

"Edward. You're thinking. Stop it. The doctor said thinking isn't allowed."

They were in a room, and Jasper was turning down the blankets. "Come on. Lay down."

Too tired not to, Edward obeyed. He let Jasper tuck him in, too. It was nice.

As nice as a horrible headache and crippling exhaustion could be, anyway.

"Now get some sleep. I'll watch over you so you won't die," Jasper said.

"Ya know, it would be easier to watch me if you were in bed, too," Edward mumbled.

"Are you trying to get me in bed again, Masen? The doctor said I didn't have to keep you awake. Sucks to be you."

"Sucking is what got us here in the first place. I'm just being logical. About the bed, I mean."

The bed dipped, and Edward felt the heat of Jasper's body close by. He opened his eyes, finding the other man looking at him. "There. Will you sleep now?"

"Okay," Edward said. And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One chapter? Two? Your guess is as good as mine.
> 
> Many thanks to barburella and jessypt.
> 
> How we doing out there, kids?


	6. Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So here's the deal. This is a short update, but I promise I won't leave you another month. Deal? Deal.

Jasper woke up confused. His side was wet. And hot. Sweat. He was covered in sweat and…

There was a beautiful boy draped over him, radiating heat. His arm was slung low around Jasper's waist, his head cradled on his shoulder. His lips were pursed in sleep.

It should have bothered him. Wasn't that the whole point of keeping things simple? Part of that was not waking up in the awkward position of having to extricate himself from a lover's arms without insulting said lover. What was so great about cuddling anyway?

But as he looked at Edward's pretty face, traced the raised welt around his wound, Jasper felt a strange stirring in his heart. Despite the uncomfortable slickness of his skin and the way his t-shirt clung to him, he was in no hurry to move. He was remembering the night before.

Edward was funny when he was loopy. And when he was turned on. And…

The kid was just adorable. That was all there was to it. And it was nicer than it should have been to wake up with Edward in his arms. It was also strange how worried he was. The doctor said Edward could sleep, that he _should_ sleep, but Jasper had the irrational fear he wouldn't wake up.

The thought consumed him.

Jasper cupped Edward's cheek and called his name. He gave him a shake. Edward grumbled, but he didn't wake. Relieved that Edward wasn't unconscious, Jasper began to untangle their limbs. Edward grunted and locked his arms around Jasper tighter.

"Oh, it's going to be like that, is it?" Jasper chuckled to himself.

He pondered the situation as he peeled the blankets down off their shoulders. He considered the issue of consent, and what Edward would do if he was awake and non-concussed. It wasn't an easy equation to figure out. Edward had been so hot and cold, pulling him in and pushing him away. The boy was giving him whiplash, and fuck if Jasper didn't want to figure him out.

Glancing at the wound at Edward's brow, Jasper had to smirk. One way or another, he'd earned himself bragging rights. _You made a woman meow? Awesome. I made a guy pass out._

Locked knees. Right.

Jasper began to explore Edward's body with his fingertips. He worked his hand up under his shirt He'd considered waking Edward with sex, but he didn't want to cross whatever lines the other man might have drawn overnight. This was a fact finding mission. Surely Edward couldn't fault him for trying to discover erogenous zones while he was being held captive.

He skimmed his fingers over Edward's side, tickling lightly, and elicited a stutter in Edward's otherwise steady breathing. He traced a fingertip around Edward's belly button and was rewarded with a wiggle.

Up or down, Jasper mused, running his fingers through the tangle of hairs above Edward's pantline. Edward moaned in his sleep. It was a definite vote in favor of down. But…

Again. It was better they talked before Jasper touched him again.

Up. Jasper's fingers traipsed upward, pulling Edward's shirt with them. He tickled the other man's nipples, and then he twisted them.

Edward's eyes flew open with a gasp.

Jasper went in for the kill, working his fingers up under Edward's arms, tickling without mercy.

"Stop, stop," Edward begged between chortles. "Stop. Fuck. Ow."

Jasper backed off then, his goal accomplished. Edward cringed away from him, well and truly untangled. He brought a hand to his head and winced. "Ow," he said again. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"You wouldn't let me go."

"So you decided to kill me? What did you do to my head? Is there an icepick in my ear?" Edward groped at his ear as he spoke. He looked disoriented, and Jasper felt bad for teasing him.

"I'll get you something for your head. Then you should eat."

Edward blinked and looked around. "Where am I? Is this your house?"

"You don't remember me bringing you here last night?"

Edward tilted his head, and Jasper had to work not to smile. He looked so young and cute, Jasper wanted to kiss him. So he did. He leaned in and pressed a soft smack to the corner of Edward's mouth. But it wasn't enough, so he kissed him full on the lips.

What was a little morning breath when kissing this boy was so sweet?

He stopped when Edward groaned. It wasn't a groan of pleasure. Jasper pulled back, but Edward caught him by the shoulder. He blew out a frustrated breath. "My head hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"But your kisses feel good." Edward licked his lips and looked at Jasper. "It's a conundrum."

"Sugar, I've got nowhere to be today. Why don't you let me get you something for that headache and maybe some breakfast. Then we can discuss this kissing further."

Edward sat up with a gasp. "I have to-"

Jasper caught him across the chest and tugged him back down onto the bed. "Easy now. You don't have to anything. You're calling in sick to work and school, and that's the end of it." He grinned. "Your brain is broken, science boy. My talented mouth seems to have blown your mind. You need to let it recover."

Edward's blush belied the dirty look he shot Jasper. "I have more stamina than that."

With a laugh, Jasper leaned down again, kissing long Edward's chin. He dragged his teeth down his neck and caressed his chest with one hand. "I'll take your word for it."

"I do." Edward's voice was breathy. His hands were warm against Jasper's back. "Why are you taking care of me, anyway?"

Jasper straightened up. "Because I care about you, ya nincompoop."

"I don't want to be a bother. I could call Bella if you don't trust me to take care of myself. She would take care of me."

Jasper's stomach twisted, dismay creeping in around the corners. "Is that what you want?"

Edward's eyebrows furrowed. "No. I don't think so."

Jasper had to laugh because the boy was even more confusing when he was confused. "I want to take care of you, so don't worry about that. You're not supposed to be thinking, Edward. The doctor was very specific about that."

"I don't think a lot when I'm with you." Edward sighed, his expression disconsolate.

Jasper cupped his cheek. "Well, that makes two of us."

Edward tilted his head against Jasper's hand. His sigh then was contented. But then he grimaced. "I'm hot."

"Yeah, that is a problem."

"No. I mean, I'm hot and sticky."

"Right. That's because you're a cuddler. I told you you wouldn't let me go." Jasper brushed his thumb over Edward's lips. "Why don't you shower? You'd fit okay in some of my clothes if you want to change."

Edward studied him. "Are you hot and sticky?"

"I might be, but-"

"Then why don't you join me?"

Jasper's breath caught. Edward's expression was all innocence, but as Jasper stared, his lips started to turn upward. Jasper laughed and kissed him again. "You're not as loopy as you're pretending to be, are you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

**~0~**

Edward sat with his head buried in his arms at Jasper's table. He was pouting, and he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His thoughts were still too cloudy. He was embarrassed. Again. And frustrated.

"It's not a big deal, Edward. And it's to be expected." Jasper rubbed his back.

Edward raised his head and winced at the brightness of the sun streaming in the kitchen windows. He wanted to be smooth, suave, and in control again. He wanted to wave this fog away from his mind.

Then again, when was he ever smooth and suave with this man? But this was a whole new level of pathetic.

Edward had managed to kind of, sort of, accidentally seduce Jasper into taking a shower with him. It was hot. He was hot. Jasper was hot and wet and naked and glorious in front of him. Edward didn't know where to put his hands first, there was so much to touch. And the noises Jasper made when Edward took his length in his hands were Edward's new favorite sound. He'd kissed and stroked and then… disaster.

When Jasper took Edward's cock in his hand, Miniward did not respond. At all.

Edward was humiliated.

"It's not uncommon with a head wound. You'll be fine in a couple of days," Jasper said.

Edward knew he was right, but in the meantime, he was humiliated. He grunted in response and didn't raise his head.

He heard the scrape of a chair being dragged across linoleum, and then Jasper's warm body was pressed against his, draped over his shoulders. "Don't be upset, Edward. Stop pouting." His fingers curled in the hairs at the nape of Edward's neck. It felt good. "If you don't stop pouting, I can't kiss you."

That got Edward's attention. He lifted his head and found Jasper's face just an inch from his. The blond man grinned, and Edward forgot all about his embarrassment. His heart pounded hard, and he felt giddy when Jasper kissed him, as promised.

No, his concussion induced impotence was the least of Edward's worries. He was falling for Jasper. Hard. And as evidenced by the stitches at his brow, falling never worked out well for Edward Masen. He wanted to be smarter than this, smarter than to fall again.

But Jasper's kisses were so sweet, and he was concussed. That was his story, and he was sticking to it.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 1-2 chapters left, I think. Oh, and this is un-beta'ed coz my betas decided they wanted to travel at the same time. Like, do they not realize I need them? Ffs! Hehehe. Thanks to Barburella for prereading.


	7. The Professor and Mr. Masen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See! Less than a month. Plus longer chappy.

Edward wanted to do something for Jasper. He sighed to himself as one scenario after another occurred to him.  _You never learn, do you, Masen?_ It was this line of thinking that had gotten him into trouble before. Clingy, one of his two exes had called him.

"Just because I want to fuck you, doesn't mean I want to marry you," the other had said.

And that was Edward's problem.

He was a passionate person, focused on whatever he chose to concentrate on. It was what made him a good scientist. It also had the side effect of making him fall too hard, too fast for guys who showed even the slightest amount of interest. He put in way too much effort on guys who were uncomfortable with the attention.

Edward didn't know how to be anything but invested, but he'd always been a fast learner. He could imitate.

Jasper had taken very good care of Edward when his head was broken. Jasper was attracted to Edward and vice versa. What would an easy going kind of guy do to thank Jasper for that kind of hospitality?

Sex. The answer was always sex.

An inkling of an idea struck Edward, and he began to plot.

~0~

The only time Edward had fostered a crush that was only a crush, was with his professor.

Edward had a very active imagination, and Carlisle had proved himself to be the stuff great crushes were made of. He was smart, incredibly attractive, and he gave Edward no shortage of material to work with.

Ever since the first time Edward had figured out what went on between the professor and his wife behind his closed office door, he'd had a particular fantasy. He'd imagined himself in Esme's place with Professor Cullen eliciting those noises from him. But since Jasper had come around, Carlisle's face had been replaced in his dreams. Edward realized he could live out his fantasies with a few additional embellishments..

For once, Edward couldn't wait for Carlisle to get out of his hair.

"Really, Professor Cullen. I can handle the rest of the experiment. And I'll clean up."

The professor eyed him, an amused smile playing at his lips. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Erm. It's a distinct possibility."

"I won't ask. Better not to ask about what shenanigans the college crowd gets up to. I learned that the hard way." He chuckled and shrugged out of his lab coat. "Call me if anything goes fantastically awry."

After the professor left, Edward set about getting his work done as quickly as possible. He hit a snag and almost had to text Carlisle, but figured it out at the last second.

Finally ready, Edward checked the bag he'd brought with him. He sent a text to Jasper asking him to come down to the lab, and he changed. Making his way to the professor's office, he took a picture of the desk.

It was definitely unethical to do what he was about to do in someone else's office, but Edward didn't intend to get caught.

He wished later that he had listened to the common knowledge about good intentions. It was only after he had cleared off the professor's desk and laid out on it, clad only in the deep red, silk panties Jasper had sent him before their first date and a lab coat, that Edward figured out he had not erased Carlisle's name from the text field. The professor showed up first and found him - his student - mostly naked and sexily posed. Edward was so startled, he fell off the desk. Always concerned above anything else, Carlisle raced to his side to make sure he hadn't bashed his head open again.

Of course, as could only be expected from Edward's life, Jasper showed up and walked in on a situation that wasn't what it looked like. Edward was on the floor with Carlisle leaning over him. Their limbs were tangled as Carlisle was trying to help him up and Edward was, in his embarrassment, trying to push his professor away so he could close his lab coat.

"Did you actually text me so I could walk in on this? That's a new kind of fucked up, Edward," Jasper said before he stormed away.

Tangled with the professor and his own lab coat, Edward couldn't get to his feet on time to stop Jasper. He couldn't run out into the hallway half naked either. It was evening, but if anyone saw him, it wouldn't be good for Carlisle.

"Fuck," he said instead. He sat on the floor, his head in his hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the hell just happened?"

Carlisle cleared his throat and scratched his own head, looking as confused as Edward felt. He offered his hand and helped Edward to his feet.

"Perhaps you should get dressed and we can discuss how, for starters, trying to seduce your professor is not only unwise but unethical. Trying to seduce your married, straight professor-"

"Oh, God. Professor Cullen, that is not what's going on here."

Carlisle pursed his lips. "You texted me to come back to the lab where I found you on my desk in… admittedly very pretty panties and not much else. I wasn't imagining that, am I correct?"

Edward thought his cheeks were about to burst into flames. He groaned and pulled the lab coat even tighter around him, wishing he could melt into the floor.

"I suspected you were, erm, harboring an attraction for me, and I should have addressed that before," Carlisle said when Edward didn't speak. "You are a very attractive young man, and I'm very flattered, Edward, but-"

"Professor, really. I didn't mean to send that text to you." He ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head. "I am so sorry about this. Yes, I did, um… I was attracted to you. I mean, you're hot. How could I… But I never would have done this for you."

He was looking at the floor so he couldn't see what Carlisle's face looked like. He'd never seen the man angry. He wondered if he was going to have him officially reprimanded. He wondered if this would affect his degree. Despite the fact that idea probably should have scared him more than anything, Edward was much more concerned with the idea that Jasper hated him, and he kind of, sort of, maybe wanted to cry over that idea.

Edward was distracted from his internal lamenting when Carlisle laughed.

His head snapped up, sure he'd heard wrong, but no. His professor was cracking up. Edward furrowed his brow, feeling foolish. "What on Earth is funny about this?"

It took Carlisle a few minutes to answer. He bent at the waist, his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. "I'm sorry, Edward. Truly, I am, but it's fucking hilarious."

Edward's eyebrows shot toward his hairline. He'd never heard the professor curse before.

Carlisle straightened and clapped him on the shoulder. "The man who was just in here a moment ago was the same man from our lecture, wasn't he?"

Edward's stomach twisted with misery. He looked back toward the floor and nodded.

"And he was the one who called me when you were sick."

Edward nodded again.

"I think I'm beginning to see what happened. For goodness sakes, Edward, what on Earth are you still doing here? You need to go after him and explain what happened."

"But…" Edward gestured around them. "What about… I mean…"

Carlisle tilted his head to look Edward in the eyes. "I'm not saying I appreciate what you were about to do to my desk, but I was a foolish young man in love once. I did my share of things that probably weren't as well thought out as they could have been. I'm not angry." He made a face. "Plus, I figure I had it coming. I did send you out for vibrators once." He chuckled.

Edward's laugh was wry. "That's how we met."

"Who?"

"Jasper… the man who was in here. That's how we met. He owns the shop I went to."

"Oh my." Carlisle laughed again. "Well, I suppose that explains the…" He shook his head, but Edward saw his eyes dart down, and he added complete mortification that his professor had seen him in women's silk panties to his list of what a great night he was having.

Carlisle shook his head, fighting a laugh. "Get dressed and go after your boyfriend, Edward. I think fate owes you a break."

~0~

What struck Jasper first was how much seeing Edward with his professor  _hurt._ He kinda, maybe, sorta wanted to cry. It hurt that much. So when Edward pulled up to his door about twenty minutes after Jasper had gotten home, he made the boy beg before he opened the door.

"The only reason I'm letting you in is because this is going to be a damn good story," he said. He sat down on the couch, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel. He swept his hand in an invitation. "By all means. Entertain me."

Edward winced, but when he looked up, there was a glimmer of anger in his eyes. "Obviously, I understand why you're pissed off, but would it kill you to give me the benefit of the doubt here? I've never done anything to make you distrust me."

Jasper had to laugh. "Are you fucking kidding me? Edward, one of the very first things you told me was I had to chase you. Then, our first date, you tried to get into my pants. You're a clusterfuck of mixed signals, and now this. What, in all that, should make me trust you?"

Edward grimaced and sat down in the chair opposite Jasper. "I told you that at the club because I expected you to run."

"So that's what this is all about? You're trying to get  _me_ to end whatever the hell this is?"

" _No."_  He looked so flustered, but for once, Jasper didn't find it endearing. "It was a defense mechanism. Talk about wanting something more serious than a fling and a lot of guys turn tail." He sighed. "But then you didn't, and…" He shook his head and looked up, his eyes pleading. "Look, Jasper. I know I've been hot and cold. The truth of the matter is, I'm so into you, it's practically all I think about."

"Yeah. That's why you were about to bone your professor, right?"

"I wasn't."

Jasper listened as he explained the whole situation, and then he laughed. "Jesus Christ. Was your life always this charmed or is it just around me?"

Edward's expression was sardonic. "Before I met you, I fancied myself a smooth operator." He rolled his eyes. "With the exception of a couple times I fell for the wrong guy. I tend to fall hard."

Jasper got up and walked to where Edward sat. He took his hand and pulled him up. Smiling, he ran his fingers over the healing scar at Edward's hairline. "Yeah. I know how hard you fall."

"You believe me?" He sounded very vulnerable then, and Jasper had to kiss him.

"Yeah, doll, I do. It sounds like something that could only happen to you." He reached around to cup Edward's ass, bringing him closer. "And honestly, Edward, I feel stupid as hell, but you're just about all I think about too."

Edward's lips turned up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's driving me crazy. Hell, it's driving Peter crazy because all I can think about is how and where I want to use each and every one of the sex toys in my shop on you. Not because all I want is sex, by the way. But because I'm so fucking into you, all I seem to want lately is to make you happy."

Edward shivered in his arms, and his breath stuttered. "I… I… I really don't know how to respond to that. I know there's something very smooth I should say here."

"Edward." Jasper kissed him.

"Hmm?"

"You talk too much." He kissed Edward in earnest then, letting the last of his heartache melt away. He held Edward against him and let his hands wander, caressing his ass, even as Edward tangled his fingers in Jasper's hair.

Jasper grinned against Edward's mouth when his hands slid beneath Edward's jeans and touched silk.

"You kinky bastard. You're still wearing them."

"Well, I couldn't leave them in the Professor's office. They're not his type."

Jasper held the other man at arm's length. "Let me see."

Edward smirked. He swayed his hips as if he were a belly dancer, and Jasper chuckled. His laughter turned into a moan when Edward unbuttoned his jeans to reveal the red satin panties Jasper had only glimpsed before. He dropped his hand to cup Edward more fully, sliding his fingers inside his zipper.

"You," he growled, kissing Edward aggressively, "are without a doubt. The kinkiest. Sonova bitch. I've ever met."

Edward kissed him back, his hands moving to cup Jasper's ass. "Wearing panties is a joke, not a kink." He nipped at his lips. "So I don't know what you're talking about."

Jasper worked his fingers along the panties, feeling them and him. "It's strangely sexy." He began to kiss Edward again, slow kisses meant to build and tease. "So how was this plan of yours supposed to go, hmm?"

Edward cleared his throat, furrowing his eyebrows. He looked oddly contrite. "I have to admit, Professor Whitlock, I'm having trouble in your class. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to earn a better grade."

Remembering the schoolboy fantasy he'd spun for Edward, Jasper felt his smile spread over his lips. It was sexy the way Edward could segue right into a scene like that.

"Well, Mr. Masen, I think something can be arranged. What are you willing to do to raise your grade?"

Edward kept his gaze steady. His eyes were dark, his tone heavy with lust as he spoke. "Whatever you want, Professor. I'm willing to work very hard for you."

Jasper's dick got harder.

"Well, I've got a secret. You think you could keep a secret?" He smoothed Edward's hair back almost tenderly.

Edward's answer was breathy. "Yeah."

Leaning in, Jasper let his lips ghost along Edward's ear. "I see you in my class, and you can't imagine all the things I want to do to you." He tilted his head, catching the other man's lips in a fevered kiss. He pulled Edward's jeans all the way down as Edward kicked his shoes off. They tumbled onto the couch, and Jasper had him on his back in a flash.

He kissed the underside of Edward's chin and down his neck, opening his shirt as he did so. He licked and nipped down Edward's skin until he got between his legs.

"What are you-" Edward started to ask, but he cut off when Jasper began to lap at his cock without bothering to take the panties down at all.

"You know what I'm going to do, Mr. Masen?"

"What's that, s-sir?"

"I'm going to ruin these pretty red panties of yours."

Edward whimpered as Jasper licked him again through the panties. "I really wish… I wish you'd let me… do for you… first for once."

"Oh no, sugar. I'm going to make you come right now because after that, I'm going to bend you over my desk and fuck you hard, and I just don't think I'm going to make it long enough to make you come again."

Edward's cock twitched against the constraint of the fabric. "Fuck."

"Yes. That's what I said. Good boy. You learn fast."

Jasper knew first hand how silk, warm and slick with saliva, felt against the skin of a cock. He knew how it was the sweetest agony. He'd yearned for his cock to be freed even while he loved the cling of the fabric. He licked Edward through the panties, leaving no part of the front unexplored by his tongue. He fit his mouth over the bulge, breathing hot breath against Edward's skin while he let his tongue stimulate.

He kept at it until Edward begged, until his fingers tugged at Jasper's hair hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. He kept at it until Edward cried out his name, and Jasper could taste his orgasm filtered through silk.

He kissed his way back up Edward's body and kissed him, letting him taste himself for a handful of seconds while he reached into his own pocket. He'd been prepared when Edward texted him. He took out the condom and pulled Edward to his feet.

"Is this what you wanted, Mr. Masen?" he asked as he bent Edward over his dining room table. "While you were sitting in my class, did you think about this?"

Edward groaned. "God. Yes, Professor."

Jasper rubbed up and down Edward's crack. Much of the moisture had spread, he noted. And that was good. He dragged the panties down Edward's legs but didn't let him take them off entirely. hHe knelt, testing Edward with his tongue and fingers.

"Jesus Christ." Edward clung to the table for dear life.

Standing again, Jasper worked his own pants down and stroked his cock as he looked at the sight in front of him. "You're so fucking hot. You know how many times I imagined this? Hmm?" He worked the condom on and pressed his front to Edward's back so he could kiss his neck. "You feel what you do to me?" He thrust his cock against Edward's ass, rubbing.

"Fuck, baby, please."

"You think I'm your baby?" Jasper grasped his cock in one hand and teased Edward's entrance with it.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"And you're my baby?"

"Yeah. Yours. Jasper, please."

Jasper didn't need to be asked again. He pressed himself into Edward and rocked their hips together, sliding deeper with each pass. When he was fully inside him, Jasper found Edward's hands. He wound their fingers together as he found a hard, needy rhythm.

The table rocked. Their hands squeezed tighter. Jasper could hardly tell which were his moans and which were Edward's. It was all fabulous. Better than he'd imagined.

"Jasper," Edward said with a groan. "I love you."

The words didn't scare Jasper. In fact, the words brought him so much pleasure, his body tensed, and he lost control. He pulsed inside Edward and buried his cry against his shoulder.

Afterward, Jasper led Edward to his bedroom and pulled him into the bed. They kissed slowly, kisses written in a different language than the one Jasper was used to. Kisses that spoke of tender emotions, breakfasts in bed, and more time than Jasper had ever wanted to spend with one person alone. The idea was terrifying and exciting and frankly, Jasper couldn't wait.

Just before he passed out, he had to laugh.

"What?" The word was slurred. Edward was almost asleep as well. "What's so funny now?"

"Go to sleep, babe," Jasper said, kissing the tip of his nose.

He'd been remembering when he set eyes on Edward the first time.

Who knew the kid who bought twelve vibrators in the name of science would be the same man to change Jasper's life forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to twitina for helping me out with this one. She's good people. And barburella for laughing at me.
> 
> There will be an epilogue if only because you can't talk about vibrators as much as I have without actually using one.


	8. Bad Vibrations Kind Of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here we go!

"Professor Cullen, I have a complaint."

"What's that Professor McCarty?"

"Your grad student is way too happy. Listen to him. He's humming. There's a definite bounce in his step. This is supposed to be hard work."

"Don't worry, Professor McCarty," Edward said as he moved around the lab, marking down his daily observations. "Professor Cullen is keeping my nose to the grindstone. Believe me, he has nothing to do with the smile on my face."

"Our Mr. Masen is head over heels in love these days." Carlisle said, and Edward couldn't find it in him to be embarrassed.

"How adorable," Emmett said.

Edward just shook his head and turned his attention back to his work. The other men went back to doing whatever professory things two professors of non-related departments did behind closed doors. Edward smiled to himself and imagined he had a similar future. Like Emmett, Bella wanted to be a professor of English and Literature. He imagined teaching science, visiting with his best friend, and of course…

A knock on the door of the office drew his head up, and Edward laughed. "I was just thinking of all of you."

"All of us?" Esme looked between Rosalie, Emmett's wife, and Jasper.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Well, we've come to collect you scholarly types for spring break shenanigans, but your charming gentleman distracted us," Rosalie said. She draped her arm around Jasper's shoulder. "You didn't tell us he's so hot, Edward."

Jasper's grin was cheeky. He waggled his eyebrows. Edward felt his stomach twist in that pleasurable way, but he only chuckled. "He knows it, too."

"As he should. He's a catch, Edward."

"You're going to make me blush, Mrs. Cullen."

"Please, dear. Call me Esme." She turned to Rosalie. "He took care of Edward when he bashed his head open, did I tell you?"

"Hey, it was the least he could do," Edward said with mild indignation. "He was the reason I got my brains bashed in, after all."

Esme and Rosalie looked at him. "Oh, really? How did that happen?"

Jasper crossed his arms and leaned against the door with a smug, all too amused look. "Yeah, Edward. Why don't you tell them _that_ story."

Edward rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh now you have to tell us. Look at that blush." Rosalie cackled.

The door to the Professor's office opened and Carlisle and Emmett emerged. "What's going on out here?" Carlisle asked.

"Your star student was just about to tell us an amusing story," Esme said. She crossed the room to take her husband's arm and give him a kiss on the cheek. Rosalie did the same with Emmett.

"I, um… It's not important. You're right. Jasper took good care of me when I hit my head." Edward sighed and reached for Jasper's hand. "They're right. You're a catch."

"You're not so bad yourself." Jasper winked and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Edward's lips.

"Charming, sexy, looks at him like he hung the moon." Rosalie bumped her hip against her husband. "Remind me why I married you again."

"Hey, hey, hey. I still got game, baby. I just have to fit it in between all this being-a-professor business and our kids. We have five kids, woman. You know I got game."

"Jasper's not as charming as you think or as he'd like to think." Edward smirked up at his boyfriend. "Maybe it was me who swept him off his feet. Did you think about that?"

Rosalie and Esme looked at each other in contemplation and looked back to him. "Nah." Rosalie shook her head. "You're plenty charming, Edward, but I think this one was all Jasper. Older and wiser."

Jasper winked at him and pulled on his imaginary suspenders. Edward chafed. "What makes you think he was the one doing all the sweeping, I-"

Edward's rant was cut off as Jasper very literally swept him off his feet into his arms. Edward gasped and held on tight to his neck while the others laughed and Jasper gave him an adoring grin.

"Now if y'all don't mind, I think it's officially spring break." Jasper nodded at the others and swept Edward out of the room, ignoring his protestations.

**_~0~_ **

It hadn't taken long for Jasper to distract Edward away from his exasperation at being carried off in front of his professor. His kisses were very convincing. They'd picked up Chinese food and headed home where convincing kisses segued into convincing couch sex.

They were semi-dressed again and had finally gotten around to eating their long-cold food while they bantered over Doctor Who episodes.

Throughout the evening, something Edward had said kept niggling at Jasper. "It's not that I feel emasculated," he'd said as he traced Jasper's lips with his fingertip. "I think the term swept off my feet applies. That's how I feel, and it's great in a lot of ways. It just also makes me feel young and stupid. Do I affect you at all?"

Now, cuddling and watching TV on the couch had turned into making out, as wasn't an atypical event for them. What Jasper wasn't used to was the sudden urgent need for Edward to understand what he'd worked out in his head.

"Hey, babe?"

Edward's response was a muffled hum as he continued his lazy kisses across Jasper's jaw.

Jasper caught Edward's face in his hands. It was difficult to think with Edward's weight on top of him. He blinked, trying to remember what he was going to say. Edward kept kissing him and Jasper kept kissing back.

Oh. Right. Important things. "Baby, look at me."

Edward's eyes opened slowly as though from sleep. His eyelashes were so long, it was ridiculous. Jasper had to swallow down a lump in his throat as he caressed Edward's cheeks with his thumbs. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

"Don't you mean handsome?"

Jasper shook his head and kissed Edward's chin. "No. You're beautiful. Edward…I know I talk a big game. I know I do the whole confident swagger thing, but you should know, I feel like an idiot so often around you."

"You're smart, Jasper, you-"

"Not an idiot like that." He ran his fingers through Edward's hair. His heart was pounding hard. This wasn't easy for Jasper by a longshot, but his need to take care of Edward was strong. He couldn't let his boyfriend continue to believe he was the only one who was head over heels and ridiculous. "Despite this, uh… bravado of mine, I… The way I feel about you ties me up in knots, kid. I mean, you hear that phrase, but the experience of it…" He whistled and smiled, letting the warmth of what he felt for Edward chase away his nerves. "I want to tell you almost every minute how amazing I think you are. Believe me, I'd put a babbling fangirl to shame if I told you all the things going through my head when I'm with you. Cheesy shit, Edward. I want to do all the stupid, silly romantic things."

Edward was watching him with shining, somewhat incredulous eyes. "Like what?"

"Like when I wanted to send you flowers but I covered it up by sending you vibrators and panties." He smirked but grew more serious. "Earlier today, when I went to pick you up, I started thinking about the future. Our future."

Edward's smile was soft and he took Jasper's hand, threading their fingers together. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I thought about being the professor's wife, like Esme and Rosalie." He swallowed around the lump that had risen in his throat. "And this whole feeling of unworthiness just owned me."

Edward's smile fell. "What? Why?"

"I looked at them, and they looked like they should be on the arms of smart, smart guys like Emmett and Carlisle." He touched Edward's nose. "And you. They looked so classy, and I was there in my wrinkled novelty t-shirt. You're going to be advancing human intelligence. I sell cock rings and fuzzy handcuffs."

"I like fuzzy handcuffs… and cockrings. Selling those things doesn't make you unworthy. That's ridiculous."

"I know that, ass, but it doesn't stop me from feeling that way sometimes, dumb or not." He looked Edward in the eyes. "I love you. I look at you and I can see all the way to the day we'll be those wrinkled old men making goo-goo eyes at each other because forty years together wasn't enough to quell this fascination I have with you. I knew that existed, but I never wanted to try for it. I never thought I wanted it until I met you."

He shook his head and laughed wryly because his words were getting tangled and desperate. "The point is, I don't want you to think you're the only one stuck on stupid with all this. You got me, kid. Hook, line, and sinker, I am completely at your mercy."

Edward stared at him for a handful of heartbeats before he straightened up, bringing Jasper with him. "Come on."

"What are we doing?" Jasper asked as they stood.

"Anything. Everything." He looped his arms around Jasper's waist. "I don't have the words to tell you what I'm feeling for you right now. It's in my blood, and I need to show you." He leaned in, putting his mouth to Jasper's in a kiss that was all fervent desire, passion, love. "Even if it takes all night and most of tomorrow."

**_~0~_ **

"Oh, God. Holy hell. This is… Fuck, just fuck."

Edward looked over to where Jasper squirmed in the passenger seat. "I'm sorry, baby. Really."

To his surprise, Jasper just laughed. "No, this is fucking perfect, actually. I mean, come on. You complain all the time that you've embarrassed yourself over and over in front of me. This has to make up for everything, for every damn thing. Nothing can be more embarrassing than this."

"Is it really so embarrassing? I think-"

Jasper's scathing expression stopped Edward in his tracks. "Give me a break, kid. I'm about to walk into the ER covered head to toe in hickies with a vibrator stuck in my ass." He covered his face with his hands. "Jesus Christ. These kinds of things are supposed to happen only to drunk frat kids."

"Drunk frat kids aren't usually playing with vibrators." Edward pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He rubbed Jasper's back. "You ready?"

"Ugh. I guess." Jasper looked over at him. "Aren't you going to tell me you love me so much, you wish you could bear this burden for me, take the pain?"

"Hell no. Baby, I will be at your beck and call, taking care of you no matter how long it takes you to recover from this, but I'd just as soon keep 'lost vibrator up my ass' off my list of life achievements."

Jasper sighed, but he smiled as he leaned across the divider to kiss Edward. "Thank you for not making fun of me."

"Never, baby." He patted Jasper's hand. "But I should warn you, I've already splashed this on Facebook and Twitter."

"You didn't."

"No. Sorry. Last ditch effort to try to get your sphincter to spit it back out."

"God you're lucky I love you."

"That is true. Now let's get this taken care of before you break your butt. I like your butt. I would like to be able to use it again soon."

"You're enjoying this too much."

"Is it still vibrating?"

"Of course it's still vibrating. I just changed the battery too. Fuck me."

**_~0~_ **

"The doctor said you should try to sleep."

"Would you be able to sleep with this thing vibrating inside you?" Jasper sighed. "That feels good though."

"What? The vibration?"

"No. When you do that with my hair."

"Try to sleep, Jasper."

"Fine."

**_~0~_ **

"I think it finally stopped. Quick, what time is it?"

"It's almost nine in the morning. That's good information to have."

"We needed to know a vibrator will vibrate for approximately eight hours on a fresh battery? Let me explain you a thing, love of mine. Things for us are about to get very vanilla. I'm never sticking anything up my ass again, including you."

"I can't get stuck in you, genius."

"Yeah, well. I'm not taking that chance."

**_~0~_ **

"How are you feeling, Jasper?"

"Stupid and druggy."

"Are you in pain?"

"No. Too druggy and exhausted to be in pain." Jasper yawned. He reached out and found Edward's hand. "Thank you for not leaving."

Edward huffed. "You don't have to thank me for that. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Jasper grumbled. "This must be so attractive, I'm sure."

"You took care of me when I was loopy and throwing up, remember?"

"I'm wearing a diaper, Edward. Come on."

Edward kissed Jasper's forehead. "You're older than me. This is just a preview of the days I'll have to change your diapers."

"Christ, that's morbid."

"No it isn't. I take care of you and you take care of me. That's the deal, right?"

"Sounds like a proposal, Masen."

"I'd marry you. Any day, any time, Whitlock."

Jasper was quiet. Edward thought he might have fallen asleep, but then he squeezed his hand. "Yeah, kid. Maybe once we can have a proper honeymoon, we should talk about that."

Edward's heart raced and he beamed. "I thought you weren't open to those kinds of relations anymore."

"What can I say?" Jasper yawned, and his eyelids fluttered closed. "You do strange things to me. I love you."

"I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was inspired by the guy who live tweeted his ordeal after getting a dildo stuck up his ass. You should google it (guy live tweets losing dildo up his ass works...). He had a good sense of humor about it, so it's okay to giggle.
> 
> Thanks so much to barburella and songster.
> 
> SO. I rarely venture into humor. How'd I do, folks?


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